6 year less relationship.....ummmm...??? Should I go..or should I stay????

My fiance ped away 7 and a half years ago...I promiced myself that I'd never go for anyone less than him......well....ummmm.... Here Goes! I met this guy 1 and half years after my fiance's death...Unfortionately I was taking xanax that were prescribed to me after his death....Dr. was givng me quite a few...I met this new guy, Larry , while on drugs...He told me so many lies it is pitiful....on drugs I believed him....THere are more things about him that are quite strange..We don't have ....I have caught him doing his own little thing, though (alone)! People think that I'm gorgeous, fun, and have a great personality...so...I don't understand things...I am not conceited...just wanted to be clear of why I'm confused...Well I have been off the drugs for a couple years wondering how I got into this relationship...it really sucks! I tell him all the time that I want to be just friends...actually, that's sorta what we are...He is also a mean drunk! I want out but feel bad for him?